I Believe Things Happen for a Reason.

And if that needed to happen in order to put you in a good place. Then so be it. So much beyond you could understand, and you probably think that i lead you on or made you feel like that just because. but no, my feelings were pretty damn genuine and thats why i feel like shit. But i can’t carry on like this. Im not tired of you, im not sick of you, im not annoyed at you. I was happy. really happy. but then this. these events. i cant even. i cant react. i dont know how to help. no matter what i say it goes right through. i dont know how to help this. It wasn’t easy, HAH. nothing like this could be easy. but if i had a reason to leave, then again, So be it. Im sorry. truly sorry. and you can hate me, but i have no hate, i have no anger. none. i dont need it. im making a decision and i need to. i need to make a decision and i need that to be respected and not hated. I’ve thought hard and long about it and i cant fight anymore when all i feel is pain. Its my fault. ill take the blame, its fine. but we just couldnt both be happy when all i saw was your pain and cant help and i couldnt have the affect i wanted to have on you, im just ranting now. but i couldnt get this out before. to me it wasnt fair. and i thought about it. i felt overwhelmed and in pain and just hate for myself. i couldnt solve the problems and i couldnt give you everything i wanted. and if i cant give you my all, then i have no buisness wasting your time. and i have no buisness to be hurt. :/

I can’t fucking take this shit anymore.